"Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it."
~
Jacques Prévert
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Happy Shoes attending Beatles Love. Las Vegas, January 2011. |
Don't we all sometimes long for a life different than our own?
A life that may seem more fun, more rewarding, or more glamorous.
Well, I'm guilty of this, at times.
I do love my life, actually. I love the things I'm doing and get to do, but
sometimes I long for other things. Other lives...
You know, the kind where I cook beautifully delicious and healthy meals every day.
The one where I jet-set around the country for work and have the flexibility to tack a few days of "vacation" on to the end of that work trip.
Or the one where I'm running a marathon. Or writing an article for a popular magazine. Some days I dream of having the time and funds to spend a month volunteering on a humanitarian trip to Mexico or working in an orphanage in Romania (or make that Lithuania... then I could speak to them). Or how about six months.
Or sometimes (often) I dream of having a beautifully decorated and quaint home of my own, a home where I could occupy and decorate more than one room. Something I can call my own.
Some days I long for enviable fashion sense and a few extra dollars to bring that into fruition in the form of a fabulous new coat, or blouse, or a rockin' pair of jeans, which of course are rockin' because of my beautifully toned and healthy shape from that marathon I just ran and my amazing metabolism.
Some days I just wish my left
Achilles tendon felt normal again (okay, EVERY day I wish my left Achilles tendon felt normal, after having sprained the darn ankle more than 10 times!). Not only do I wish it felt better, but I wish that I could strut my stuff in fabulous heels for longer than three hours without thinking my ankle might just die.
I long for companionship. I dream about a time that I will come home and someone will actually be happy to see me. I dream about having someone to make major life decisions with and not having to do everything on my own. And it would be nice if that someone would rub my neck and shoulders every once in awhile.
Some days, I dream of little babies and visits to the park, and rocking a sweet baby to sleep (because doesn't everyone describe their new infant as "sweet"--have you noticed?) as I'm singing all sorts of lullabies that will just come to my head (because I'm a mom, of course). I dream of making decisions like what kind of double stroller is best (because, let's be honest, by the time I have kids I'll have to have them pretty darn close together to be able to have time to get more than one -- or the three that I think I want). I dream about reading children's books to my children, graduating from board books, to picture books with a story that can be summarized in two minutes as they turn five pages at a time, to true story reading, to the eagerly-awaited chapter books. (My mom had to hide the "chapter" books we read as a family because my brother and I would be so excited to hear what happened next that we'd try to steal a read before Mom got home from work. Of course, I told on him. I was the honest one... or the one who didn't mind being a tattle-tale. Whichever.)
But then I stop and think how wonderful my life is right now. I may not have everything I have ever dreamed of, but there are seasons in all of our lives. And life is the chance to grow my soul. Life is what we make it. And gosh darn it, I've made a pretty good life. :)
I have a great career (despite normal frustrations). I'm well respected in my company and in my field.
I've received, what I consider, an excellent formal education. (I graduate in May. Cue
Pomp and Circumstance.)
I've
traveled the world. Eleven countries. (I counted.
Remember? I'm a list person.) -- And stay tuned for two possible additions this year!
I've discovered the sheer high of choral singing. The kind of high that sends electricity through your body and soul as you sing a sustained chord, which you swear is accompanied by angels (they're called overtones). The kind of music that seems to heal you right then and there. The kind of chords and melodies that open your heart and mind and enlighten you in a way that words cannot describe.
I fluently speak (read, write, think, and dream in) another language. And since
Lithuanian is really only spoken by four million people worldwide, I'm one in
a (4) million!
I live a life which is most rich. And although, I sometimes I long for things I don't yet have, it's vital for me to remind myself that my life is wonderful. It really is. It is what I've made it. It is what God wants for me. And I am happy. Happy now, not
happy when. (I highly suggest reading the "happy when" link. It's a good reminder.) As I said before, there are seasons to our lives, and most everything I long for can still happen... someday. Life is what I make it. And isn't it great?
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