Roasted Brussels Sprouts and Cranberries with a Balsamic Vinegar Reduction.

Hated Brussels sprouts.
Then got old and figured out
Brussels sprouts are yum.
~Brussels Sprouts Haiku
by eclaires

Is your mouth watering just from the title? No? You hate Brussels sprouts, you say? Well, really, I still urge you to try this recipe.

Roasting is my favorite way to cook vegetables. Toss any vegetable with a little olive oil, salt, and pepper and then roast and you've hooked me. Roasting brings out such a rich earthy flavor.

I found this particular recipe on Pinterest and modified it for a smaller portion on Saturday night. I only wish I had more Brussels sprouts now so I could make more. So delicious!

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Balsamic Vinegar Reduction Topped with Dried Cranberries
(adapted from Pioneer Woman's blog)

1 pound Brussels sprouts
1/8 cup Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper
1/4 cup Balsamic Vinegar
1/8 cup Sugar
1/4 cup Dried Cranberries

Trim/clean Brussels sprouts, then cut them in half if desired (or you can leave them whole). Put Brussels sprouts in a mixing bowl. Toss with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Arrange on a baking sheet covered in tin foil, for easy clean up, and roast at 375 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes, or until brown.

Combine balsamic vinegar and sugar in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low and reduce until very thick, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Drizzle the balsamic reduction over the roasted sprouts, then sprinkle on dried cranberries. Toss and serve immediately.
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A Dream About A Boy.

"Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?"
~Alfred Lord Tennyson

A San Francisco Sunset. January 2012

I dreamed about a boy last night.
That doesn't happen often.
Certainly not often enough.
As you know from my last post, the main characters of my recent dreams have been large animals,
and the dreams are usually funny... although,
maybe someday soon I'll tell you about some of the intensely dramatic ones I've experienced lately.
But nevertheless, this dream joined the ranks of all my dreams of late, in its vivid detail.
And in the fact that I remembered it in the morning.

So this boy (cute cute boy)... in real life, I barely know him.
But we've had slightly more interaction in the last two weeks than we've ever had since we first met nearly four years ago.

In my dreamworld, this boy liked me.
First off, this makes any dream better.
I mean, come on now. The man in your dreams is in love with you?
Score one for the dream card!
He was cute. He was skinny. And he was in love with me.

Anyway,
the odd part about the dream was that he had a half prosthetic right upper thigh.
{insert laughter here}
Yeah, I know, I know. Weird.
I'm strange. Even in my dreams apparently.
But seriously, this prosthetic piece of thigh was amazingly functional.
So. cool. So detailed, so perfect.
He detached it so so I could see how it worked.
And his leg was still intact, just had a gaping hole the size of small watermelon, which the prosthetic filled in.
Okay, so maybe not a watermelon... but a SMALL oblong watermelon.
(This boy is skinny, so I'm sure his thighs aren't all that thick.)
I was so intrigued by how it worked so fluidly with his leg and didn't cause any sort of limp or anything.
An amazing medical device.

Random dream, I know.
But I can't help these random vivid dreams from coming.
And I don't want to.
It's fun.
And I know you all expected this "dream about a boy" to be a little more romantic in nature or maybe even foretelling.
And instead you got a medical oddity.
I know.
Work with me people.
And don't worry, it had its fair share of romance. :)
Let's just say my heart melted a little.
But, I'm going to go ahead and keep that to myself.

Oh, and happy St. Patrick's Day!
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Dream a little dream.

"Dreaming is an act of pure imagination, attesting in all men a creative power, which if it were available in waking, would make every man a Dante or Shakespeare."
~Frederick Henry Hedge

Photo of white tiger found here

Lately, I've been having extremely vivid dreams, which, lucky for my sense of humor (and yours), I typically remember in the morning.

Last night's dream was a battle with a hungry white Siberian tiger. Silly me thought I could just lock him out...however, the door did not have such sturdy locks. He barreled through despite throwing all my body weight against the door. Luckily, I was able to whip up a tiger dinner in seconds -- it was a dream, afterall. He was much nicer after that.

Also last night, I dreamed that I was running down some path with a friend and the wind kept kicking up my skirt so my underwear was exposed. I kept attempting to hold it down, but the wind just kept blowing harder and couldn't make it stop, so I finally gave up trying and danced around exposing myself to all who could see. (Somehow, that one doesn't seem so outrageous.)

Earlier this week, I was so impressed with my dream when I awoke that I posted it on FB:

Still marveling at my intensely vivid Cirque du Soleil dream from last night. There were tons of people flying through the air all throughout, but the finale was the most spectacular... about 50 people in the air in the shape of a hot air balloon, with sheets forming a "balloon" and mid-air acrobatics and costume changes. But the best part? Those 50 people were not even standing on any shoulders...they all could actually fly. It was a sight to see. :)

And just to shake up your sense of humor, here a few other random dreams I've had fairly recently, that I wrote about just so I'd have something to laugh at later.

So I've completely forgotten the full dream, but I had a dream a few weeks ago about a wild donkey bucking around in our house downstairs, though "our house" didn't look anything like our house, of course. Agnė, who was staying with us at the time, was screaming (something very unlike her) because the donkey was going crazy bucking around the downstairs. Suddenly the donkey, turned into a kangaroo, which was totally weird. Then the next thing I remember is that these two guys came out from hiding. They apparently had planned the whole thing as a practical joke. Apparently, one of the guys ended up being my boyfriend, but I didn't recognize him. Darn.

And another about animals attacking me. Hmmm, I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

Sunday afternoon, I took a nap and had a dream about a deer wandering into our house, which, of course, didn't look like our house. Then a big deer with antlers (an elk, maybe?) wandered in and was upset. He sort of held me at "antler point" in the back. Every time I breathed I could feel the pointy tips of his antlers. It was scary.

Seriously, where does my brain come up with things like this? Still, the Cirque du Soleil dream was so mesmerizing. Hope it happens again.
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Fish.

"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all."
~Harriet Van Horne

Several weeks ago, at one of my MANY doctor visits during the month of January (remember how I was sick with the heart attack flu?), my doctor recommended that I introduce more fish into my diet. Let it be said that I love fish and all things de la mer. That said, I just don't cook it all that often myself. I order it when I got out to eat. It's like my favorite delicacy...when someone else makes it for me.

Well, now that the doctor's orders have been laid down to eat it at least two to three times a week, I am trying to do just that. Only, because I'm always trying to save some money, this means cooking it myself and not spending an arm and a leg for someone else to do it for me.

Teriyaki Tilapia over greens - last Saturday's lunch

I must say I'm pretty proud of myself. Well, I've been successful at making some delicious tilapia and salmon. Tilapia is pretty mild, a little too mild, but still tasty especially when prepared well. But salmon? I love salmon. I always have. Tonight, when I went to Costco (only to buy paper towels, toilet paper, and shrimp, mind you), I came home with a 3.5 pound cut of whole salmon.

Whole salmon, you wonder? Yeah, I was a little over-ambitious, thinking that deboning it myself so I could save $4/lb wouldn't be too bad. Ha. Well, it wasn't really that bad, but I just didn't expect it to have so many bones. I know the bones are soft and pliable, which makes it that much more difficult. I'm not so sure I'd go that route again... except that my lemon rosemary salmon fillets (with most, but not all, bones removed) that I made last night were de-licious!

Lemon Rosemary Salmon

I was so busy de-boning that I didn't have time or energy to make the asparagus and Israeli couscous that I had planned on adding to the meal. Maybe I'll do that tonight, since I still have leftovers.
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Gilgal Sculpture Garden.

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Awhile back, I decided that I wanted to be a tourist in my own city. I don't expect to live here my whole life, so I want to take advantage of the beauty and sights around me. You know, actively love the place I live (because I do). In case you may have missed some of my adventures, I'll refresh your memory.

Hiking Ensign Peak
Hiking to Cecret Lake in the Albion Basin
Exploring Bingham Canyon Mine

Little by little, I'm going to make it through my list of places to see. And maybe sometime I'll share my list, in case you want to add to it. :)

This weekend, I went with my friend BRB to Gilgal Sculpture Garden in downtown Salt Lake. It's been on my list for a little while, simply because I heard about it on a couple of websites talking about interesting places to go in SLC.

To be honest, the sculpture garden sounded a little odd to me (with a sphynx of Joseph Smith? weird), but nevertheless, I wanted to check it out. BRB had a project for his art class which required him to go somewhere he'd never been before and take pictures (or draw them), so I suggested Gilgal Sculpture Garden. We had just enough time to make it there, walk around, and take a few shots before the sun went down.

The sculpture garden is located in the middle of a downtown block, rather tucked away from view, so many people don't even know it exists. As the pamphlet, which I picked up at the entrance, states, "Gilgal Garden is the legacy of Thomas Child's desire to give physical form to his deep-felt beliefs."

Job 19:23-27

With twelve original sculptures and over seventy stones engraved with scriptures, poems, and other literary texts, the park has a decidedly religious feel to it. The sculptures all symbolize some story in the scriptures or a religious theme. Mr. Child expressed these themes in completely different way than I would. Interesting, I thought, because most of the time I feel like I can connect with an artist through their work. In this case, the person I imagined, through viewing his art, is not someone I think I'd have much in common with. Nevertheless, I can respect his desire to express and share his beliefs through his talents.

One that was interesting to me was his depiction of the shattered giant from the Biblical story of King Nebuchadnezzar's dream found in the Old Testament in Daniel chapter 2.

All in all it was an interesting field trip. Not interesting enough to return, but interesting enough to see one man's beliefs expressed through his art.

I promise that my next "tourist in my own backyard" post will be more interesting... in a good way.
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"Kindness is never old-fashioned."

"Life is perfect for none of us.
Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other,
may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life."
~Thomas S. Monson
Prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Carpet in the Salt Lake Tabernacle. Photo by me.

Each week I receive an emailed newsletter from The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
I'm not sure how I ended up on their mailing list,
and to be honest, I usually delete the emails before they're even read.

However, as I sat in my car in the long-term parking lot at Salt Lake International Airport,
waiting a bit longer in the warmth of my car, since I had just missed the shuttle,
for some unknown reason I opened up last week's newsletter.
And I'm glad I did.
What I read reminded me once again what is most important to me in my life:
the relationships I have with others.
And that it takes some effort to nurture those relationships, but the payoff is sweet.

I've reprinted the article for you below. (Or you can find it here.)

"The Greater Courtesies"

Nineteenth-century American writer Christian Bovee once said, “The small courtesies sweeten life; the greater, ennoble it.” Sometimes, with the pressures and stresses of life, we might forget that in many cases, the small things are the big things. The lessons of good manners we learned as children—to say “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me”—may seem outdated in today’s demanding adult world. But politeness is never out of style, kindness is never old-fashioned, and we never outgrow courtesy.

And it goes much deeper than polite words. As one commentator noted: “Making people feel important is part of courtesy, so it’s important to remember that whether or not people remember what we say or do, they do remember how we made them feel. . . . Always be kinder than necessary because you can never be too kind.”

Helping people feel respected and loved takes more effort and, at times, more self-discipline than just remembering to say please and thank you. But it’s the mark of a great soul.

This type of courtesy focuses more on how we make people feel than just what we say to them. It springs more from sincere love for others than from a mere sense of social obligation. It measures not the size of the courteous act but the size of the heart behind it. A smile, a returned phone call, a thank-you note, a word of congratulation on a special occasion, verbal and nonverbal responses to those who need our attention—even these seemingly small things, if inspired by genuine love, can turn out to be the greater courtesies, the big things that both sweeten and ennoble the life of the giver and the receiver. 

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Tuesday Talk.

‎"You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the further you get."
~Michael Phelps

I want to take a trip on the Trans-Siberian railroad in Russia. Starting in Moscow and ending in Vladivostok (or the other way around.) The culture, the people, the landscape--all of it is so intriguing to me. NPR recently did a project on the trip. Read about it here and here.

Tonight, I cooked myself some delicious salmon for dinner. Delish, I tell you. I love salmon and this was especially tasty.

So, my guilty pleasure is "The Bachelor" on Monday nights. Thanks to D&S, I have partners in crime. This season is interesting. The jury is still out as to whether that means "good interesting" or "bad interesting." Ben needs to cut his hair and there are a couple of girls who just need to be kicked off the show (that means not given a rose). I don't like the drama. I just like the romance.

But guess what... they've announced the next Bachelorette, whose show will premiere in the spring sometime. Ugh, they've already hooked me. It's EMILY. Yes, *that* Emily. Brad Womack's Emily. Tell me how I can not watch this?? I know, I watch next to NO television and I'm on opposite ends of the spectrum with the only two shows I watch: "Downton Abbey" and "The Bachelor" (or "The Bachelorette").

I never said I wasn't strange.

Recently, I've tried to open my house door with my car chicka-chicka--that's the clicker thing... the... what's it called? Oh yeah, keyless entry...thingy. Anyway, I've done it SEVERAL times. I'm a smart one.

Yesterday, I got a Tetanus shot. Just a routine-every-10-years-update immunization. But my left arm hurts. Ouch. And frankly, so does my right. I got the flu shot in that one. Ugh. I forgot how shots can hurt. I know. You're thinking, "Why did she get the flu shot when she was so deathly ill FOR TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT with intense flu-like symptoms (plus the chest pain. don't forget the massive chest pain--we're calling it "the heart-attack-flu")? Isn't it a little late for a flu shot?" Well the answer is, I didn't really have THE flu, so I might as well protect myself from getting sick again.

Oh, and earlier today, I got some closure regarding the Shoebox guy (man without a nickname). I was already moving on, but somewhat defined closure is always nice. And interestingly, I felt relief. Hmph.

Life is good. Optimistic is the best way to be. And Heaven knows I'm incredibly grateful a for a few choice friends who truly take care of me.

Oh and I read this on Sunday night. Take a look. It's a good reminder.

Goodnight!
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Another Shoebox.

"I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone (or attempting to) requires a leap of faith,
and that a soft landing is never guaranteed."
~Unknown

Years ago, I started keeping a shoebox for each relationship that ended. You know, a place to house all the things (ticket stubs, playbills, love letters, pictures, etc.) from old boyfriends that I just can't throw away, but might just start swimming in my tears if I just *happen* upon them. Out of sight, out of mind. That's the theory.

Well, I think I'm starting yet another one. :( I've gotten less sentimental and cheesy, so really it will probably just be a small envelope, but nevertheless, it's going to come into existence.

"What happened?" I can hear you saying that in your head right now, and to be honest, I don't really know. Sometimes we aren't afforded the luxury of communication. And sometimes what may seem to be going well and progressively more solidified just suddenly ends with no explanation. And you're left wondering what you said or what you did to so swiftly make one change his tune...

Remember how I didn't want to talk about this one because I didn't think I could handle one more "another one bit the dust" story? Yeah. Well, here you go. Here's that post. Sad. But I guess it's better to know one's true character and feelings early on. Not that I really know them... but I'm smart, and I know that silence speaks volumes. Sudden silence confuses, but nevertheless sends a message. A loud one.

Aye aye, Captain. Message received. Shoebox being prepared.

Why does life keep trying to teach me lessons that I have no desire to learn? Lessons that aren't often learned for years following.

No worries. I'm definitely sad, but life is good. Being sick in bed for two weeks solidified a lot of things in my mind. One of them being that God is watching over me. And the best is yet to come. It always is. Everything always works out. And if he comes around again, I'm still willing to open up the shoebox again. Because I'm open. Remember?  We'll just see.

Photo credit unknown.
I can't remember where I found it.

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Lovely Downton Abbey.

"I couldn't have electricity in the house, I wouldn't sleep a wink. All those vapors floating about."
~Dowager Countess Violet Crawley of Grantham, Downton Abbey

Please tell me you're watching.

Downton Abbey. On PBS Masterpiece Classics. I don't know why I didn't know about Season 1 last year, but I'm just as happy to watch it all in one fell swoop on Netflix. Season 2 has just started and I'm all caught up. I admit I'm hooked and can hardly wait for next Sunday to roll around to watch Season 2: Episode 3. I'm thoroughly enjoying the drama, the surprises, the love stories, and all the characters so much. Oh Mr. Bates, I'm in love.

And who couldn't be fascinated with the elegance of the Edwardian era. All their dresses, their interiors, and their "proper" ways. Maybe it's a bit much for our age, but I think we ought to be less casual and take a cue from our early 19th century examples. What do you think? Highclere Castle in the UK stands in as Downton Abbey. Apparently you can go on a tour starting again in Spring 2012.

If you're not yet watching, you can catch up on Season 1 on Netflix, and Season 2: Episodes 1 and 2 can be viewed on PBS.org. I also think all of it can be accessed on iTunes, or of course you could order the DVDs. But Sunday nights, you'll find me glued to PBS.

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SO sick.

"The first wealth is health."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Photo found here.

I've been sick. Really really really sick. Scary, sad sick sick sick.

But I'm doing better and glad to be back.

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New Year. New Future.

"Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors,
and let every new year find you a better man."
~Benjamin Franklin

The future is in the air.
I can feel it.
Here's to a wonderful 2012.
May good things come our way and may we bring good things to others.
I welcome 2012 with open arms.

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Random Photo: Swordfish for Christmas Dinner 2011.

"Life goes faster on protein."
~Martin H. Fischer

It was absolutely delicious. And quite humorous when Dad unknowingly cut his into the shape of a fish.
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Random Photo: As for me and my house, I like simple little white lights...

"Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights."
~from Christmas Vacation

From our neighborhood to yours, Merry Christmas! :)

P.S. My camera lens is only so wide, so sorry that you're missing out on the entire picture (more blow-up characters are standing off to the left).
P.P.S. There is an entire trailer, which sits in the driveway year-round, to house these decorations.
P.P.P.S. The downhill economy has never caused this home to waver in its festive presentation year after year. I think I would have to save all year long in order to pay my electric bill.
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Random Photos: Celebrity Look-alikes?

"I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet."
~Angelina Jolie

Awhile back, a friend of mine commented on this picture of me on Facebook, saying, "Hello, Molly Ringwald! =)" I remember her making this comparison in high school, but honestly, I've never seen it in myself, except that we both have fair skin.

I've also been compared to Liv Tyler (probably in my younger, skinnier days). Again probably because of the fair skin, dark hair, and blue eyes.

Photo found here

Another one I've gotten? The mom from Home Alone... Really?

Photo found here

And Susan from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Maybe in my much younger days of childhood. I suppose I can see the resemblance. Funny...

Photo found here

Photo found here

But most recently, I've been thinking that I look much more like Lady Elaine Fairchilde. You do the comparison yourself...

Photo found here

Happy Thursday!

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Oh Heaven, help me! I like him.

"It is a risk to love.
What if it doesn't work out?
Ah, but what if it does."
~Peter McWilliams

Photo found here

So I just got off the phone with the latte boy (TLB)*, and I'll be honest (because when am I not? when do I not spill my guts?)... Anyway, I just got off the phone with him and I'm just sitting here wishing I never had to get off the phone. I wish we could just keep talking. Forever. Ugh. Don't let me say such things. Stop me. Now. Before it's too late.

It might already be too late. I like this boy.

Starting about a week or two ago, this phone call thing has sort of become a week-nightly practice. And I'm not complaining. at. all. I'm meeting his family this weekend! I know, right!?! I haven't even thought about when he'll meet mine. He left me flowers a couple weeks ago. I'm a sap and my heart melted a little. He left them just in front of the garage door in front of my spot. I seriously died just a little when the garage door went up and the light revealed my surprise. Nice boy.

I'm afraid to talk about him. I'm afraid to talk about him on here. Why? Because I'm just not sure I can handle another "this one didn't work out" story. My heart is a just little tender sometimes; it's been stomped on and ripped up a few times. I'm just not eager to have that happen again. And when you talk about it, it becomes real. So, I suppose I'm a little hesitant.

Oh, and the fact that it's quite likely that he's found my blog at some point... hyeah, that makes me a little wary to write about him. I'm honest on here. I share on here. Dare I say, I over-share on here, sometimes. What if my words, my true thoughts and feelings about him, scare him off? I guess I should take heart that he hasn't been scared off yet... and it's been 9.5 weeks since our first date. (Not that I'm counting or anything...) And really, let's be honest. I'm not that much different in person than I am on here... so he already knows I talk a lot, I ask lots of questions, I share, I delve deep... and for today at least, he's still around.


*Explanation of what I think will become his blog nickname forthcoming.
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My heart wants to sing every song it hears.

"I can't seem to stop singing wherever I am.
And what's worse, I can't seem to stop saying things - anything and everything I think and feel."
~Fraulein Maria, in The Sound of Music

I feel much like Maria lately, in the quote above...

"The hills are alive with the sound of music." Tonight, a spur of the moment decision was made and Katie and I went to see this at the Tower Theater:

Photo found here.

Only it was really this...

Yes, you read that right... it was a sing-along. SO, SO fun! Goofy, silly, nerdy Sound of Music fans. As we walked into the theater, we were each handed a cellophane bag with such items as a silk white flower (Edelweiss), an invitation to the ball, a piece of fabric like the drapes out of which Maria made the children's play clothes, a confetti pop thing (for when Maria and the Captain finally kiss!), etc. We were instructed to pull the items out at the appropriate times and use them/wave them for all to see. We also were given certain tell-tale calls for certain characters such as the Baroness (hisssssssssing like a snake), Gretl (awww--because she's so cute), Maria (cheering of course), the Nazis (booooooo), the Captain (cheering and hubba hubba), etc.

So silly, but so fun! Fun to sing along (words were projected on the screen like in karaoke). Fun to watch a musical I haven't seen in a long time. Fun to take part in a love story. I'm such a girl, but I love love stories. :) And so fun to pull the plug on my confetti popper when the kissing started! :)

I'm looking forward to February when they'll have the West Side Story sing-along!
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Being Open.

"When your heart speaks, take good notes."
~Judith Campbell

In June of this year, so six months ago, I started attending the Singles Ward.
For some time, I had been toying with the idea, and in the previous one or two months,
I really felt compelled to go, that it was where I should be,
that I should be doing something about meeting men and opening myself up to opportunities if I wanted to get married (which I do) and if I wanted to have a happy fulfilling life (which I do).

I never really used to consider myself a social butterfly or extroverted.
But in the last two years, after leaving the Young Single Adult (YSA) Ward,
I just have really begun to feel lonely, like I have no friends and certainly no dating prospects.

In a way, it hasn't bothered me too much that I didn't go on a single date in 2010.
(Okay, it clearly bothered me enough that I know that I didn't go on a single date in the year 2010.)
But seriously looking back, I don't think it really has bothered me that much because in all reality,
how could I have fit anything more into my full-time work/full-time school schedule...
especially the last year? It just wasn't in the cards and that was okay.
I had my sights set on a different goal.
Finishing school.
And that was a good thing.

But as graduation approached, I began to think of all the things I wanted to do with my free time,
how I wanted my life to play out; you know, just envisioning the future.
And whaddya know, my thoughts and gut feelings kept returning to "attend the Mid-Singles Ward", "attend the Mid-Singles Ward." So I finally listened and on Sunday, June 5th, the first Sunday after returning from my trip East, I got home from my family ward (which occupies the 9am-12pm time slot)
and suddenly decided to go to the Singles Ward. I quickly looked up the time (crossing my fingers that it was the 1pm-4pm time slot, which it was) and the address and ran and jumped in the car.

I felt happy to be there, like this was the step I was supposed to take.
I talked to my very good friend Sarah (the S of DandS) about my decision later that week.
She always seems to have excellent insights for me and since I made such a split-second decision,
I hadn't really told anyone about it.
So one night mid-run, I stopped in to visit with Sarah, who spent some time in the Singles Ward before she married Dennis, so she understands. She knows the people.
She knows the drill.
She knows what it means to be single, in your 30s, and Mormon.
She knows what the decision meant.
And she knows me.

Honestly, I don't remember all the details of our conversation
but I do know that I was there long enough to cut my run short and make a straight shot for home when I left because it was getting dark. (Keep in mind this was summer, so that meant close to 10pm, probably.)
I remember the feeling of significance associated with the thoughts expressed that night and the spirit that was there. I remember that Sarah seemed very excited and almost proud of me for making the decision to go.
She said something that really stayed with me.
At the time, I don't think I really understood what she meant,
but it's like my heart knew that I needed to remember what she told me.

She said that she thought my decision to start attending was "the best and the hardest decision" I could make.
I asked her what she meant by hard, and the thoughts that followed were all about
being outside my comfort zone,  being open, allowing myself to be vulnerable,
proving to God that I am open and ready and willing to lead whatever life he has in store for me,
and being open, being open, being open...

It's funny because I remember at the time thinking that maybe this wasn't such a hard decision and that it wasn't going to be that outside of my comfort zone. I mean, I was ready for this. Really.
I was ready to make new friends, have an active social life,
and not be sad that I didn't have anyone to invite to go to a movie with me. Right?

But as it turns out, Sarah was right; it was a hard decision.
Okay, so the decision itself wasn't hard, but the results and consequences of the decision were/are hard.
Being single and putting yourself out there is hard, no matter how extroverted and social you are
(which I have learned I am very).
And the being open part is really the thought that stayed with me though
and blossomed in my heart and mind, and still continues to.

I thought I knew what being open meant. But over the course of the next few months, I became acutely aware that I still had a lot to learn about being open. What does being open mean? What have I learned?
Being open means letting go of what's comfortable
and diving into what may be uncomfortable at first, and then continuing to swim.
Being open means being vulnerable.
Being open means I take my sense of self cues from God.
Being open means not setting limitations for myself or others.
Being open means saying hello to everyone.
Being open, for me, means unknowingly taking up the habit of waving and smiling at everyone new I meet.
Being open means considering something (or someone) I may have never considered before.
Being open means doing things that aren't my first choice just because they help me toward my greater goal or because I just feel like it's the right thing to do.
Being open means doing things that I consider to be scary.
Being open means embracing the happy in my life, of which there is a lot.
Being open means praying a lot.
Being open means giving up my will to God or more clearly, aligning my will with His.
Being open means searching and seeking for the best path to take.
Being open means having faith, lots of it.

I've been thinking a lot about how open I am to life, but especially how open I am to relationships.
Man, learning about yourself is hard. Painful even, at times.
But being open feels good. It feels hopeful. It feels bright and sunshiny.
Okay, I'll be honest. Sometimes it feel dark and scary.
But most of all, it feels like the right way to be.

So yeah, relationships.
I don't know what it is about my self-esteem or my approach with men, but for an otherwise confident person, I'm just not always that way around men that I have potential of being interested in.
I just don't even want to approach them. Because I guess I feel like who am I to win their affection
when they could have some gorgeous, thin, leggy girl with big brown eyes, laughing and joking with them.
I immediately assume that he would not want anything to do with me, dismissing his ability to be attracted to me when he has so many other possibilities in front of him.
Who am I to think that I could be "the one," his "Miss Right?"

And I know,
with that thinking I'm sabotaging myself from the get-go, assuming that they would have no interest in me.
It's not a woe-is-me attitude, it just is what it is. Reality.
It's not even that I think I'm unattractive or unlovable.
No, it's just that men don't usually choose me. That's the reality.
Now, I know that I can't say they never do.
I've dated several men, but I'm not one who can say that I've dated a lot.
I think I've only been on a handful (maybe) of dates that didn't turn into a long-term relationship.
A long-term relationship that (obviously) subsequently ended.
And even then, there have only really been six or seven of those.

So what is this post really about?
I guess it's about learning who I am. Learning about myself and improving that self.
Learning to be open.
I get discouraged sometimes and I'm trying to get over that part of myself and not let my heart sink into despair when I feel ignored or less than, and just have a little more confidence, but it's a little hard when my past dating life has set a precedent* of unrequited love.
It's a little hard when you have to start over again... over and over and over again.

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen,
but it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.
To keep putting myself out there is hard. But life is hard.
When I put myself out there, allowing myself to fall into the required state of vulnerability,
I seem to get burned one way or another. That's been my experience.
And yet, I keep going back for more.**
Why?
Because I'm open.

*And just in case you had a momentary lapse of intelligence, like I did, here is the difference between the word precedent and precedence. I know you were wondering.

**So I'm thinking that it might be okay to talk about TLB sometime soon. Who or what is TLB you may ask? He is "man without a nickname," ... and he's still around.
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A Gift to the World.

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given..." 
~Isaiah 9:6, Old Testament

Last night, DandS came over along with our church buddy Jeremy for dinner and to watch the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. I just love my friends. There are just some friends with whom I click and that clicking just continues to happen every time I'm with them. DandS are those kind of friends for me. Love love love them. So fun.

I made this yummy soup recipe for dinner, along with a green salad with pears, dried cranberries, and pecans. DandS brought a truly delicious baguette. And for dessert, we had vanilla Häagen-Dazs ice cream with berries. Sarah said it all seemed so springy with the salad and the berries. I guess I like my food like spring and less like heavy winter. Although, I do like me some winter-y soups and squashes and warm cozy goodness. And I wouldn't mind being snowed in. I mean, good and snowed in. Like in this sweet abode.

Anyway, the First Presidency Devotional was very Christmas-y. They showed the video above. Apparently, the LDS Church has been hard at work producing several short bible story films which they are going to post online for free. LDS films nowadays are not quite like the silly, cheesy (but fun) stuff we all remember from our youth like Johnny Lingo or the Who Broke My Window commercial. In fact, there are some very talented, legitimate artists who work in the film department, producing things like the film Joseph Smith: The Prophet of the Restoration or Finding Faith in Christ. So it looks like the new videos will be posted over the next year at this link on youtube.

I believe all the videos are all going to be New Testament stories. Why? Because the New Testament is all about Christ and the LDS Church is the church of the New Testament restored to the earth after the Dark Ages and Great Apostasy. We are Christians, as were those who followed Christ and joined his Church when he was on the earth. I'm really looking forward to seeing all the videos. Hope you enjoy the one above as much as I did.

Merry Christmas!
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I'm thankful for...

"The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for,
and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy,
and light drives darkness out of his life.
Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place.
How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul,
and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life,
a thankful attitude toward God and man!"
~Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 263

the opportunity to sleep in.
holidays.
hugs, snuggling, and cuddling.

the smell and sweet taste of coconut. Delightful.
the knowledge that every detail of my life matters to God.
my mom and the fact that she loves me and knows how to express it in a way that I recognize.
fresh fruit and vegetables.

the warm spot on the carpet as the sun shines through an open window.
words of affirmation spoken to me in truth.
good hair and makeup days.
leaves rustling in the wind.

long talks with my brother. I love him more than I can express.
my Dad and when he calls me "love."
my stepmom who loves me and forgave my spilled milk so many years ago.
my job and the satisfaction it brings. (Oh, and the paycheck.)
prayer.
the sound of the ocean.
the Fall colors in Utah.

my sweet and loving little sister who addresses me as "sister woman." Love that.
laughing with my best friends.
kissing. (Who's not thankful for that?!)
backrubs during warmups at SLCA rehearsal.
painted toenails. I believe in them. All. The. Time.

good conversation.
modern means of communication.
warm showers.
quiet door-closing.
the internet.
times when a perfectly-suited-to-my-thoughts song comes on the radio.
the way running can transform my mood and my life.
trees.

the Wasatch Mountains in all their beauty.
clouds. Oh, clouds. I don't think I could live without you.
music.
my car.
Pinterest.
Facebook.
sunsets.

my friends.
my family.
the gospel.
my Father in Heaven.
my Savior.
my life.
you.

happy thanksgiving!
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Nerd Field Trip.

"You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity,
he will continue the learning process as long as he lives."
~Clay P. Bedford

Bingham Canyon Copper Mine

So, maybe I'm a little nerdy (I like to think of it as avidly curious, always wanting to learn more), but for some time I've really wanted to go see the Bingham Canyon Copper Mine, which is owned and operated by Kennecott Copper (part of the greater RioTinto family). The mine is open to visitors from April through October. And this year, I finally did it, went on the very last weekend it was open, getting in just under the wire before they closed it to the public.

Can you see my car in the reflection with KDJ taking a picture out the window?!

After I (easily) convinced KDJ to come along for my nerd field trip (she's kind of a nerd, too), we met up at Zupas for lunch. You know, we needed sustenance for our journey out west to the mine. And Zupas is just the place to find delicious sustenance. Side note... I just love their soups and salads and somehow the thought of getting a chocolate covered strawberry with every meal makes it all the more desirable.

Anyway, back to our field trip. So fun. I have to admit, it was really beautiful out there. Being so far out west, we were able to get a view of the Wasatch Mountains that I normally don't see, from the vantage point of the Oquirrh Mountains. Utah really is a visually stunning place. I kind of felt like I was in another world.

And for some reason, I really felt like Erin Brockovich or something, not that Kennecott is knowingly polluting the area's water supply, but just the way we were driving out in the middle of what seemed like nowhere, and going to check out this mine. (And then yeah, there were some holding tanks of nasty murky looking water, which really made me want to pull out some test tubes, shimmy over on my belly and get some water samples... if you haven't seen Erin Brockovich, then this doesn't make any sense.)

KDJ was the primary photographer, you should be happy to learn, since I was the driver. I was pretty good this time and only took a couple shots while driving. :) But take a look at those clouds. Beautiful.

Kennecott was like it's own little city complete with tonka trucks driving all around and miles and miles of road. In fact, the brochure said if you stretched out all the roads within the open pit mine, you'd have enough roadway to get you from Salt Lake City to Denver (approximately 500 miles).

So apparently there is copper in nearly everything. Who knew? I mean obviously we think of pennies and copper electrical wiring. But did you know these facts:

• The first known use of copper dates back 10,000 years.
• To make all the pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters in 1999, the U.S. Mint used about 36,000 tons of copper. That's about as much refined copper as Kennecott produces every 41 days.
• Each American uses more than 40,000 pounds of new minerals every year.
• It takes about 15 different minerals to make a car ... 35 different minerals to make a television ... 30 minerals to make a computer ... and as many as 42 different minerals to make a telephone.

I always find myself very curious about major operations like this that exist and daily produce things that I never think about. Does that make sense? I mean, I guess I'm just fascinated by these productive processes that I have nothing to do with and never will, but I rely on them on a daily basis.

See the standing water pit at the bottom... that's the one that made me want to be Erin Brockovich for a minute.

Have you ever wanted to have a job for a day? There are numerous things I can think of with which I'm intrigued enough to want to have the job for a day. Driving one of these trucks or operating the chomper shovel (that's my nickname for it) would be cool... for a day. I mean, just take a look at these facts about all their equipment:

• The giant electric shovels in the mine can scoop up as much as 98 tons in a single bite -- about the weight of 50 cars.
• The newest electric shovels each cost more than $20 million and weigh 3.2 million pounds.
• The trucks that haul the ore are larger than many houses and weigh more than a jumbo jet. They stand over 23 feet tall and can carry from 255 to 360 tons of rock.
• The truck driver rides about 18 feet above the ground -- nearly two stories high.
• Each tire on these big trucks costs from $18,000 to $26,000 and lasts just 9 months.
• The crusher in the pit takes in about 140,000 tons of ore every day and grinds it into chunks smaller than the size of a basketball.

The whole process seemed pretty labor intensive to me but very efficiently executed...

Very interesting, indeed. I suppose, in a way, visiting the mine made me really happy to have my desk job. Being outside all the time for work wouldn't be bad, but driving around in a truck round and round for days and weeks and years on end would get old for me. But I'm happy that there are people who work there and love their jobs enough to be committed to them because apparently I, along with every other American, cannot live a day without copper and all the other minerals they mine.

Love my nerdy partner in crime.

Just in case you were really wondering how big the tires are...

And to extend our nerd field trip, we drove by and toured the UP Home in Herriman, Utah. Now let me just say that I've driven out to Herriman before, but not for a long time. It is out there. Just out there. It's amazing that I live in the city, but so close to "out there" where there are random horses, trailers, fields, and water tanks next to people's homes.

Anyway, the UP Home is in a much more populated, residential area and doesn't feel "in the sticks" at all. It is a authentic replica of the home from the Disney•Pixar movie "UP." I'm not the biggest fan of animated movies, never have been I guess, but I still like them every once in awhile. And UP was one of those that I liked.

I see me.

Love the turquoise appliances, giving the kitchen its retro look.

Love the subway tiling and the black polka dot backdrop.

I love how true to the movie and the era they were when decorating the inside of the home. I've always loved walking through homes for sale or model homes since I was young. My mom and I used to taking Sunday afternoon walks around our neighborhood looking at homes. Examining the wood floors, the colors of the decor, the arrangement of the furniture. There is always something to observe and learn and then maybe implement in your own home one day. This home was no different for me.

I liked the curve of this sofa.

Do you see the double shower heads? :)

This hidden reading room or play room behind the built-in swinging bookshelves was really fun!

 Very fun. I don't think I would want to live in such a brightly colored home, but it might be fun and the inside decor could be entirely yours. I wonder if it will ever have a buyer or if it will always be a PR draw as a model home for the company. Disney•Pixar gave express permission to Bangerter Homes to construct this replica. Pretty smart of Bangerter Homes, I'd say, seeing as their new tag line is, "If you can Dream it 'UP' we can build it."

Overall, a very fun day and a successful nerd field trip with KDJ. We all need friends with whom we can just be ourselves, our nerdy, goofy, silly, wonderful selves.
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