Bachelorette Withdrawal.

"Sometimes the most beautiful thing is precisely the one that comes unexpectedly and unearned,

hence something given truly as a present."

~Anna Freud

Chris Siegfried and Desiree Hartsock
Proposal in Antigua

I may or may not have hinted at my guilty pleasure prior to this post, but now I'm completely coming out with it. I love (hate) watching The Bachelorette and The Bachelor. My life is a little (a lot) unbearable right now, so I have to have some release and living vicariously through Des with the good and the bad, does the trick.

We just finished the season with Desiree and although she really was a bore at the beginning, I've grown to like her. This was certainly one of the more interesting Bach season finales in recent history. The last few episodes were tear-jerkers for me. Her breakup with Brooks just about killed me, since I've been blindsided by a breakup like that before. But in the end, she was able to calm down and open her eyes and see the man who had been there all along, Chris, and realize that he was the one.

Chris was a front runner for me from the beginning. He was friendly with everyone, appropriately engaged (disengaged) from the drama that ensued in the house, and he was steady. And generous. And calm. And artsy and sensitive. But fun and adventurous. And pretty darn tall-dark-and-handsome good looking to boot. I mean, he sounds perfect for me Des, right?

So on this Monday night, when you (I) may be going through a little withdrawal (although let's be honest, I watched it on a Monday only thrice. I always caught up several days later on Hulu.), here are a couple shots to remind you how wonderful that proposal was. And what a great couple. Dare I say, I actually think they'll make it? :)

Oh and take a look at this dress? She's a beautiful girl and this is just a stunning picture. Maybe I should keep this shot for a "Fashion Friday" post, but I'm not. Beautiful, right?

(The pictures were all found on a google search.)

By the way, if you're still interested, I'm still updating. Click here to find a list of past-dated posts.
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Not giving up... on blogging nor Chris Pine.

"Never, never, never give up."
~Winston Churchill

I haven't given up on blogging. Really, I haven't. At least I don't think I have. All the time, I think about things I could write about, but then, for some reason, I just don't sit down and write. But I'm turning a corner (in many aspects of my life) and I have a few posts brewing right now, so be excited. Very very excited.

Or at least try.

For now, I just have to publicly admit, once again, that I am in love with Chris Pine. (Remember when I first fell for him, four years ago? Hyeah. Me too.) The man is beautiful. Talented. And the first thing he looks for in a woman is intelligence. We're meant to be, right? ;) I'm not giving up; he's single. Said so on Ellen. By the way, I love the beard he sports on Ellen. Love it. Love him. Go ahead, click on the link and watch the video.

Okay, just one more. Just look at those eyebrows.

Emery Pine. It works.
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"Kindness is never old-fashioned."

"Life is perfect for none of us.
Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other,
may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life."
~Thomas S. Monson
Prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Carpet in the Salt Lake Tabernacle. Photo by me.

Each week I receive an emailed newsletter from The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
I'm not sure how I ended up on their mailing list,
and to be honest, I usually delete the emails before they're even read.

However, as I sat in my car in the long-term parking lot at Salt Lake International Airport,
waiting a bit longer in the warmth of my car, since I had just missed the shuttle,
for some unknown reason I opened up last week's newsletter.
And I'm glad I did.
What I read reminded me once again what is most important to me in my life:
the relationships I have with others.
And that it takes some effort to nurture those relationships, but the payoff is sweet.

I've reprinted the article for you below. (Or you can find it here.)

"The Greater Courtesies"

Nineteenth-century American writer Christian Bovee once said, “The small courtesies sweeten life; the greater, ennoble it.” Sometimes, with the pressures and stresses of life, we might forget that in many cases, the small things are the big things. The lessons of good manners we learned as children—to say “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me”—may seem outdated in today’s demanding adult world. But politeness is never out of style, kindness is never old-fashioned, and we never outgrow courtesy.

And it goes much deeper than polite words. As one commentator noted: “Making people feel important is part of courtesy, so it’s important to remember that whether or not people remember what we say or do, they do remember how we made them feel. . . . Always be kinder than necessary because you can never be too kind.”

Helping people feel respected and loved takes more effort and, at times, more self-discipline than just remembering to say please and thank you. But it’s the mark of a great soul.

This type of courtesy focuses more on how we make people feel than just what we say to them. It springs more from sincere love for others than from a mere sense of social obligation. It measures not the size of the courteous act but the size of the heart behind it. A smile, a returned phone call, a thank-you note, a word of congratulation on a special occasion, verbal and nonverbal responses to those who need our attention—even these seemingly small things, if inspired by genuine love, can turn out to be the greater courtesies, the big things that both sweeten and ennoble the life of the giver and the receiver. 

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That's the Point.

"Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak;
sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."
~Author Unknown

Just a random picture I took. I'd like to say I planned it.

Twelve years ago, I started dating my friend's boyfriend's friend.
We dated for a year, well after my friend and her boyfriend broke things off. My boyfriend and I weren't really right for each other.
He wasn't right for me, but he kept trying to make it right.
He was good to me. We were close. I liked being loved.
I liked having a boyfriend.
But ultimately, I just knew he wasn't the right one.
He was going nowhere fast and ultimately, so was the relationship.
There were a lot of things wrong therein, but he was "cheerful," as my mom put it
--unbeknownst to me, she actually dubbed him "the cheerful deadbeat"--
and I was just having fun.

I told him that I didn't feel like "we" were really going in the right direction
and that I knew I couldn't make him happy (he desperately wanted to get married
--which was part of the problem--
and there was NO way that was going to happen).
So I ended things, only somewhat mutually.
We never saw each other again.

He contacted me on FB a little over two years ago, saying,
"Hey. Wow, you have only gotten prettier as time went on! I still love those blue eyes! Sorry I didn't pull my head outta my a$$! Can we still be something?"
Really classy. Really classy.
Sounds like he never rid himself of the "deadbeat" half of his moniker.
I never replied.

So eleven years ago, when I told him I wanted him to be happy and I didn't think that meant with me, he replied,
"Do you really want to do this?
If you break up with me, you're never going to find someone like me again."
At the time, I knew breaking up was right, but still took those words as a dagger to the soul and said,
"I know," wondering if I ever would find someone to love.
But now all these years later, and several great relationships later
(the first one was only three months after he and I broke up),
I finally realized how I should have replied:
"I'm never going to find someone like you again? Well, that's the point."

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I Just Haven't Met You Yet.

"Just because you know someone doesn't mean you love them, and just because you don't know people doesn't mean you can't love them. You can fall in love with a complete stranger in a heartbeat, if God planned that route for you. So open your heart to strangers more often. You never know when God will throw that pass at you."
~unknown

Just thinking about my life lately, and this song popped into my head yesterday. I love that it's upbeat, not sappy and sad. It's optimistic. Hopeful. It sort of explains some of my thoughts lately. I haven't met him yet. At least, I don't think I have. Maybe I have and he just hasn't made himself known. Maybe he's just my Benchmark, and won't ever be interested. Maybe we passed on the street once. Maybe I smiled at him once. I hope if we have met, that I was nice to him, so that when the timing is right, he'll think of me fondly.

Maybe midnight is the wrong time to think/blog about such a topic, but my thoughts are what they are. I'm really happy with where my life is right now and where it is headed. I'm not sitting around, waiting for a knight in shining armor to find me. I'm anxiously engaged in life. But I am hoping, as the song says, "Wherever {he is}, whenever it's right, {He'll} come out of nowhere and into my life." That'd be nice. :)

Tonight, I ran into some married friends of mine at Stake Conference, where I had led the singing. They both complimented me on how beautiful I looked. It was really flattering. So nice. And then they just kept going on and on and M, the wife said, "O (her husband) and I were just saying how beautiful you are and how we could just watch you leading the music all night long because you're so pretty." Can I just say I love her?! I want to put her in my pocket and pull her out every time I'm feeling ugly (unfortunately, that's happened a lot lately). Seriously, so nice to hear such a genuine compliment from her tonight.

Then she turned to both me and Katie and said, "We were just saying, 'Those two are so pretty. So so pretty. Why are they not married?!?!?!'" Then the conversation turned to the lack of available men to match us. Typically, comments like: "I don't know why you're not married. You're just so great," leave me a little speechless because they usually are accompanied by apparent sympathy and pity for how lonely I must be and I'm never sure what to say in response. "Thanks?" But tonight, it was really genuine and it made me feel good, and all I could think was, (cue music) I guess "I just haven't met {him} yet."

(Thank you Michael Bublé!)

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, Ipromise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet.

Lyrics by Michael Bublé, Alan Chang, and Amy Foster
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Love One Another.

"Love is the answer and you know that for sure."
~John Lennon

Forgiveness is a Gift.

About three weeks ago now, I spoke in Church in Sacrament Meeting. Given the topic of forgiveness, I, of course, read up in the Scriptures and recent General Conference talks, but also checked out a DVD from Netflix called The Power of Forgiveness.

After reading and studying the topic, I came to the conclusion that forgiveness is gift, a powerful healing cycle involving OFFERING forgiveness, SEEKING forgiveness, and RECEIVING it. We can more easily offer forgiveness when we have felt the love and compassion accompanying the forgiveness of our trespasses, which we've sought.

Offering forgiveness is difficult for many of us. Sometimes, it can seem absolutely impossible. It can also seem "wrong" to forgive someone who has done something so heinous. The concept that all people have human worth, individual worth, that they come from divine heritage, can help us to separate the offense from the person. Forgiveness does not condone one's behavior, but alleviates the stress and heartache from your shoulders. Being angry with someone only, ultimately hurts you. In fact, The Power of Forgiveness presented recent clinical research showing a link between forgiveness and lower blood pressure and other health benefits. Forgiveness brings with it powerful healing physically, mentally, and spiritually.

“This is not to say forgiveness is easy. When someone has hurt us or those we care about, that pain can almost be overwhelming. It can feel as if the pain or the injustice is the most important thing in the world and that we have no choice but to seek vengeance. But Christ, the Prince of Peace, teaches us a better way. It can be very difficult to forgive someone the harm they've done us, but when we do, we open ourselves up to a better future. No longer does someone else's wrongdoing control our course. When we forgive others, it frees us to choose how we will live our own lives. Forgiveness means that problems of the past no longer dictate our destinies, and we can focus on the future with God's love in our hearts.” (Elder David E. Sorenson, April 2003 LDS General Conference)

I fully believe that forgiveness is a divine attribute and is attainable through faith in Jesus Christ and God, our Father in Heaven. Forgiveness is not something you do once and then you're done. You must do it every day. It is not something that is manufactured, but we can create the conditions under which it can come, through our faith, through the Atonement of Christ, through a continued relationship with our Father in Heaven, and being blessed with the pure love of Christ. Such faith in Christ and our Father in Heaven will help us to sustain the worst of humanity, look beyond ourselves, forgive and be healed.

While visiting the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church in Berlin, I came across this letter posted in one of their display cases, and was deeply moved:

Filling our minds and hearts with charity, compassion, and the love of God will aid us beyond measure. As renowned Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said, "Compassion is the antidote of anger." And I think the world could use a little less anger. Forgiveness heals. and allows us to focus on all that is good in the world.

Photos of church and letter a la moi (March 2009).

I'd like to see this too...

I'd like to see this...

M, will you be my Valentine?

A bit sappy sometimes, I am.

"I've been feeling all romantic lately," I say to M the other night. He chuckles, (you know that laugh that says, "I just think you're funny, but totally cute and I like when you feel all lovey because I know that you love me.") and says, "You're cute." Then he continues on suggesting that maybe I feel "all romantic lately because Valentine's Day is coming up and you know, you're supposed to feel all romantic this month."

Maybe he's right. But, whatever the reason, I like it. I AM a romantic. Sure, I stay am true to my pragmatic self, but when it comes to love... I admit... I love love. I'm a bit sappy sometimes. To love and be loved is like feeling the sun from both sides. Ah, let me bask in it. :)

"Love is the most powerful force in the world." ~Dallin H. Oaks

I'm a fermata. Hold me.

I love touch. I suppose my family is a "touching" family. I grew up like that. I'm used to it. Physical human contact. Lots of it. Hugging, pushing, shoving, holding, sitting-on, lying-on, leaning against, hitting, poking, grabbing, cuddling, hair-brushing, stroking, petting, arm-tickling, wrestling, massaging, boosting, kissing, hand-holding, nuzzling, tagging, squeezing, rocking, snuggling... you get the idea. I'd venture to say that I'm the one in my family who likes/appreciates/needs physical human contact most and is most readily willing to ask for/initiate such touch. Apparently, I have always been a "cuddly" person. As a baby, I'd snuggle up as close as I could into my mom's neck and nuzzle for as long as I could. I think I still do that. I've learned that touch is one major way I feel/give love. I love it, and it's all so wonderfully normal, and comforting, and human.

Social life is a bit different from family life, and there are different acceptable levels of contact for different people. As I grew up and learned about things like "personal space" and "bubbles," there was by simple social necessity less casual invasion of other people's space. Which is fine, I guess, but sometimes strange to try and remember that not everyone is as okay with bodily contact as I or the people I grew up with.

Generally, I am not as "in need" of physical affection, as I was when I was a child. I guess I'm more comfortable with myself and know how to comfort myself. But I won't deny that there are days when I need a hug, a gentle embrace, a pat on the back, a stroke of the neck, or to have my hair played with, be held, or be able to sit close to someone and lean against them, to hug them, to push them, poke them, hold them, touch them, or slide my feet under them as we're lying on the couch. I need it to relax, to calm down, to be comforted—to comfort. It doesn't take much. But some days, I need it to keep my sanity.

Yesterday was one of those days.

Thank you M!

The Lord's Peace Brings Comfort.

"Life often feels like a great pile of obligations, frustrations, and disappointments. But the Lord is there, always the same, His arms still outstretched. When we feel overwhelmed, we have to remember the peace He has spoken to us on previous occasions. His peace brings comfort and strength; the world cannot give that to us."

~Kathleen H. Hughes

The St. Clair Affair.

Kim and Jared were sealed in the Bountiful LDS Temple on Thursday afternoon. I was so happy to be able to be a part of their day. My camera was having major issues that day; I was lucky to get a couple of pictures. Kim looked beautiful, and Jared, quite dashing himself. Congratulations, you two!

Throw-away World.

Have you ever noticed that we live in a throw-away world? Think about it. When was the last time you actually took something in to be repaired? You know, like a camera, or a watch, or a microwave. Can't remember? That's what I'm saying. We live in a world where it's less expensive to throw something away and buy a new one, than to repair it. We don't take the DVD player in to have it fixed. Instead, we toss it and buy a new one. They're cheap enough, so why not? We certainly don't repair the hair dryer when it "dies"; we run to Target and get a new one. Tell me it isn't so. It's true and you know it.

I look at my grandparents. They hung wet paper towels out to dry, so they could be reused. And I? I love paper towels and have absolutely no problem using them and never reusing. I once read that Japan uses 30 million 'disposable' single-roll cameras annually. Disposable cameras! We are products of modern consumerism. Society has told me that it's okay to always want something new, something better, something easier. I've been trained to focus on my wants and to choose things that will make life easy for me. Society says I'm entitled to experience life on my terms and in a way that is most convenient for me.

Now, this post is not about reducing, reusing, recycling, and saving the world, although, as you know from previous posts, I'm a fan of green. No, this post is meant to touch on a deeper issue. I've been thinking a lot lately about how this throw-away-all-about convenience-mentality has infiltrated our society... and how it has affected me, personally. As you know, I'm thirty. I'm single and find myself in the middle of a dating world that just doesn't seem to work hard enough to move on from singlehood. The pool (the dating pool) seems chock full of "kidults". Okay, not chock full, but you know the type... adults whose actions and tastes are more childish than mature; adults who want all the luxuries of adulthood, but none of the responsibility. I'm not saying that all are like this. I'm not even saying the majority... I'm just saying a fair amount, and thus I have this fear that this throw-away mentality has seeped all too easily into how we treat each other and how hard we work on our relationships, not to mention if we start them in the first place.

In the last three years alone, I have had five close friends contemplate seriously or actually go through a divorce. Now, I know that divorce can be the right decision in many cases; I'm not condemning it... but I'm just not condoning it as such an easy option either. In a meaningful relationship or marriage, you work hard, harder than you ever thought you could. And then when you have reached your end, you step it up a notch. I am a fighter. But, indeed, I am a product of our society and I fear that I, too, may succumb to the ease of throwing something repairable away. It's a fear. I admit it.

Divorce has affected my life in a very dramatic way, and that was by no choice of my own. My parents divorced when I was not yet two. Their choices forever changed my life. One of the effects of that, I realize, is an instilled fear of which I have been working to rid myself for quite some time. This fear to enter into a relationship that someone else will not view as repair-worthy or to enter into a relationship with someone who is not as fiercely determined and committed to me as I am to him or ... worse yet, the fear that I will be the one who doesn't view it as repair-worthy.

But fear is not faith (thank you, Katie). Although I do not believe this fear has really thwarted my growth in relationships, it has definitely factored into my approach to dating in one way or another, if only a fleeting thought. But I am determined to live my life fearlessly, full of faith, hope, and happiness. As Flora Whittemore once wrote, "the doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." I am not a throw-away kind of girl; I'm a fighter. I plan to open the doors of every repair shop in town, if I need to. Small steps lead us to achievement. Rarely does fulfilling our hopes and dreams happen overnight, but we can take one tiny move towards them each day. So, as the silly quiz below so aptly predicted, I may be a little scared of commitment... but throw-away culture is not my culture. I’ve been burned, so I’m cautious yet more wise because of it, but I am more ready than ever to hit the floor running... and repairing along the way. :) The hardest and most challenging things in life are ultimately the most rewarding.

You Are A Little Scared of Commitment

You're open to getting serious with someone... though you can't entirely imagine it. Maybe you haven't met the right person. Maybe you haven't gotten to the right point in your life. Your reaction to commitment is very normal - especially if you're young or have been burned before. Give it time. You'll probably be ready for a serious relationship sooner than you think.

Are You Afraid of Commitment?

Google Me!

I found this idea on my cousin's blog. Here's how it works: for every category, perform a Google image search and post your favorite picture on your blog. You can only choose from the first page of results! Have fun!

My Name (Emery):


The city where I was born (San Francisco):

A past love (Mike. I googled his full name, but will not post that here. I figured this picture suited him best, since he's an artist.):
Favorite object (need I say more?):

Favorite city (New York City. My favorite aside from San Francisco, SLC, and Vilnius):

Favorite food right now (šaltibarščiai - Lithuanian cold beet soup):

Favorite color:

One of my bad habits (self-explanatory):

My first job (a mother's helper):

A future job (I hope):

A place I would like to live (Vilnius, Lithuania):

My age:

No Life Without Wife.

Okay, so last night Katie and I wanted to watch a movie. Since we're quite keen on saving money lately, we decided to stay home and watch one of the movies that she had downloaded on her computer. She gave me a long list of choices, noting that she was saving the one she really wanted for last. And what was the one she really wanted to watch, you ask? Bride and Prejudice. A Bollywood-style version of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, it's a musical that puts a new spin on the classic. It's not just retold; it's reinvented. And it's fantastic! The clip below is one of my favorite songs. I seriously laughed for a good portion of the movie. Hope you enjoy!

So just rent it. I guarantee you'll be entertained! :)

Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

So I can't remember how I happened upon this, but I have to admit (regrettedly) that I did not write it, but rather found it on craigslist. I found it funny and thought it was worthy of posting. So here you go:

Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most of them frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind...”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that sweet a** up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get fussy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel terrible about it.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little); he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine a**!!!” Believe me.

Break-up Songs.

What's the best therapy for dealing with a nasty break-up? Well, it could be a date with Haagen Daaz, but if you're anything like I am, nothing sits too well in my stomach at first. So if you're in need of a good wallow session, I suggest you turn to the good old break-up song. Sometimes you need to just indulge your need to feel sad. Alright, it may not be healthy for too long, but a good pity-party never hurt anyone. There are plenty of "sappy unrequited love songs" out there for your initial phase of grieving. But today, I was thinking about the empowering feeling that accompanies a really good "I'm moving on" break-up song. You know what I'm talking about. Those times when the initial pain of the break-up has subsided and we turn the stereo up to full volume to release all those pent up emotions. Feelings that just make you go, "You hurt me, but I am SO okay." or "What we had was good, but it's over and that's SO okay because you don't deserve me anyway." I love those songs. Luckily, I'm not in need of them right now... but they still feel good to sing at the top of my lungs. :)

A few of my favorites...

• You’re So Vain—Carly Simon
• Since You've Been Gone—Kelly Clarkson
• Because of You—Kelly Clarkson
• Believe—Cher (gotta love Cher)
• How Do You Like Me Now?!—Toby Keith
• Beautiful—Carole King (okay, she's my favorite)
• Lesson in Leavin'—JoDee Messina (I'm really not that big of a country fan, but they've got some good songs... they always tell a story)
• I Will Survive—Gloria Gaynor
• I Will Remember You—Sarah MacLachlan

There are plenty more. Do you have any favorites?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day is a fun day for me. For one thing, I love the color red. I like hearts, but never heart jewelry or hearts on clothing or hearts in the hands of a stuffed animal. Blech. And, I love love. I love the love of my mom. I love the love of my dad. I love the love of my roommate. I love the love of my friends. I love the love of my family. I love the love of little children. I love the love of God. I just love love!

I rarely have a "Valentine" on Valentine's Day, but I do remember in 4th grade when Christian was "in love" with me. Unfortunately, I had pneumonia so I couldn't attend our class's Valentine's Day party. My mom kindly took my Valentine cards and my assigned treat to the school for me. My teacher had collected all of my cards from my classmates and presented them to my mom to deliver to me at home in bed. As my mom was about to leave, Christian stood up across the room and said, "You're Emery's mom, right?" Yes. As he produced a box of chocolates and a card from inside his desk, he said, "Can you give these to her?" With cheers, jeers, and whistles from the class abounding, he confidently retorted, "At least I had the guts to do it!"

If only we would all "have the guts to do it!"

Yes, to some it's Single Awareness Day,



but it's just Love Day to me!


Here's hoping that you have a marvelous day and remember how very much you are loved!