So, I fired someone the other day.

"To whom it may concern: I can't begin to count the number of people I've fired. So many that I've forgotten what it's like to actually hire someone."
~Ryan Bingham (played by George Clooney) in Up in the Air

It's what I do. People often ask me if I hate that part of my job. Is it awful to say that I don't? Call it what you want: firing, releasing, letting go, or terminating someone. I mean, it's never fun to let someone go, but it's part of my job and although I handle it very delicately and tactfully when I speak to each person, it's something I'm incredibly accustomed to and it doesn't bother me much at all anymore. In fact, many times I feel like it's a favor, a blessing in disguise for the individual. If you think about it, when someone is being released from a position, there is obviously a reason and that reason is that they did something wrong or it's simply not the right job fit. I'm giving them the opportunity to move on to something that fits them better.

You'd be surprised by how smoothly most of these types of meetings go. If you handle it correctly, generally the termination ends peacefully with a shake of hands and wishes of good luck. My mom says I was made for HR because I have the ability to be very straightforward, expressing just enough emotion to sympathize, but remaining stern enough to "let people know who's boss" and avoid any backlash or unwanted scenes.

It just is what it is. When I'm letting someone go, I point out that the behavior in question was brought to their attention several times (you always have to have documented warnings and improvement plans) and so this may just not be the right job or industry for them. So while I'm letting them know that we will no longer be able to employ them, I take the opportunity to discuss what their possible next steps could be and I typically offer a hefty dose of "friendly advice" to help them be more successful next time - not the least of which includes things like "Next time, don't lie to me," or "Next time, losing your temper and telling a customer to 'F*$! off' is not a wise decision," or "Maybe it would be good for you to tell yourself that your shift starts at 730am, instead of 8am. You may have a better chance of being on time." For better or worse, I generally never know if they move on to be more successful or repeat the same mistakes. I'd like to think that something I say helps them make at least one wiser choice next time.

You know, just trying to make the world a better place... one fired employee at a time.

Photo found here.

Time flies.

I've been thinking about time a lot yesterday and today. Time in terms of speed. You know ... the rate at which children grow and mature, the rate at which a heart can be broken, the rate at which it heals, the rate at which it learns to love, the rate at which you travel to across oceans and continents, the rate at which one loses weight, the rate at which one gains it, the rate at which you earn money, the rate at which it can be spent...

Isn't it funny that the older you get, the faster life seems to go. Time really does seem to fly by. How flabbergasted one might be when they realize how much a child has grown in the last year, both physically and developmentally. But to that child, time seems to drone on and on. Is it because there is less in their brains to remember? Fewer memories to recall and process?

Lately, I've been playing the "one year ago today" game and realizing how drastically (yet simply) my life has changed. Mostly, the change is in my attitude toward life. A year ago today, I hated my job. I was working the same job I am today, but at different customer location, and thus it really was entirely different than it is for me today. I dreaded going to work. I literally cried some days on my way to work. I recall barely being able to get out of bed, I hated the idea of going to work so much. A year ago today, I had long become used to the "permanent" twitch in my right eye. What a difference a year can make. Today, - well, today I'm not at work.. - but today, I have a completely different feeling every day when I wake up. Work doesn't do me in. I enjoy going to work. I enjoy the people with whom I work. I love our front desk receptionist, Carolyn. She brightens my day. My co-worker is great to work with. It's just the two of us in this office, which could make for a hard working situation if we didn't get along, but we work really well together, complimenting each other's working styles well, picking up where the other one isn't as strong, etc. What a difference a year makes.

A year ago today, I wasn't dating M. A year ago today, I wasn't in Berlin. A year ago today, I was 15 pounds thinner than I am now. A year ago today, I was sitting in my music class with M, whom I'd never spoken to at that point. A year ago today, I was working out (haven't done that for a few weeks now). Wow. What a difference a year makes.

Just this evening, Katie and I were talking about how quickly Ellie has changed. She's almost two and a half years old. The last time I saw her she was not yet two. Definitely intelligent and advanced for an almost two year old. But today... just six months later, she is more verbal and emotionally grown up than most two years olds I've come into contact with. Today, she was jumping on the couch, trying to make Katie and me laugh. The second time she jumped and fell back, she hit her head squarely on the hard arm of the couch. She looked stunned, and started to cry a little. Katie tried to comfort her, but she wouldn't have it. Asking Katie to "leave me alone please," she found her "blankie" and covered her head for a few minutes. She wanted to experience her pain in peace. In many ways that's how a lot of adults are. We hurt or cry, and we want to be private about it. Ellie took about three or four minutes, then turned to Katie to say she was sorry (for crying?) and then she was fine. She was still holding her blankie and now sucking on her "bink", but she has learned how to comfort herself and move on. A fine lesson for me to remember when I'm wallowing in some sort of pain. :)

I also mentioned to Katie something about M, and then surprised myself halfway through my thought, "We've been dating for ... nearly seven months." Seven months! That's a long time. It's a short period of time, and a long period of time. But a significant period of time. It's funny how we look at it. And this thought was the catalyst for this post. Time is relative. Seven months could feel like an eternity, and in many cases is a long period of time. In seven months, a child changes drastically. In seven months, one could experience new blossoms, blazing heat, and a new-fallen snow. But how can seven months seem like such a long time and yet so short at the same time?!? I suppose for the same reasons that three days in Berlin already feels like a week and yet only 3 hours at the same time. Funny how that works.

The sign on the door of opportunity says PUSH!

I pushed.

Finishing my degree has been a goal of mine for some time. Finances have delayed my progress, but I've been slowly plugging away, one or two classes each semester while working full-time. But being on the 25-year plan was just not cutting it anymore. In order to get through more quickly, I knew that somehow I needed to find a way to attend school full-time. For the last year or so, I've been working to get myself in a finanical situation that would allow me to go back to school full-time, but wasn't sure how or when that was going to happen. Especially, how I was going to swing it with work.

This summer, some changes occurred at work that would allow me to shift responsibilities and I very clearly felt that this was "my time". I know 100% that this was Heavenly Father saying,"Go for it. Now is your time to go part-time and go back to school full-time." Hooray! So this week is my first week as a full-time student, working just part-time. There are so many wonderful things about that! I love being a student. I love the writing involved in all my classes. I love the new ideas I learn. I love always having "a thought to chew on", as my mom says. I love learning. I love relieving the burnout I have felt at work, by going part-time and reducing my responsibilities.

Now I'm not going to lie, living off half my salary and watching large sums of money come out of my bank account is a little scary. However, I'm not scared. I guess that's why I know this is the right decision for me. It feels good, sacrifices and all. So be prepared to hear me say that I don't have the money to go to this movie or that restaurant. I'm trying to be careful about all this, but I know it will work out in the end.

Seriously, this all just fell into place. I'd been praying for something to give... something to change. I'd been planning and preparing financially. Three months ago, I had no idea how or when I'd ever be able to devote more time to finishing up my degree and today? Today, I have arrived.

Video Conference.

My co-worker sent this to me via email on Friday and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. :)

Fiercely Fast Fingers.

In my line of work, we test and screen candidates for various jobs. One of the first tests we administer is a typing test. Generally we see scores anywhere from 20-40 wpm with the occasional 12 wpm. We're really excited when we see scores in the 50s and 60s. However, about two years ago we had a candidate come in and blow us away with 123 wpm and his alphanumeric and 10-key numeric scores were nearing 18000 ksph. I mean, seriously... who types that fast?!?!?

I'm satisfied with my score on this test. I generally advertise (on my resume only) that I type 70 wpm, so this made me feel pretty good today. :)

Hope you have fun with the test.

89 words

Let's be real here!

Yesterday afternoon, I went to a work meeting. A lot of people new to the company were in attendance, so we were asked to take turns introducing ourselves, telling how long we've been with the company, and answer the question: If you could meet someone famous, who would it be? I have to admit, I tend to dislike these types of questions, especially when you only have thirty seconds to think about your answer. Maybe I take it too seriously, but somehow I just feel that my answer will stick with me and say something about my character. I wished I had more time to think! As everyone started answering, celebrities such as Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matthew McConaughey, and the occasional sports figure such as Tiger Woods quickly took their places among the most popular answers. Getting more and more bothered by the answers and how ridiculous people were, I started panicking because my turn was coming up so quickly. I don't really care about meeting celebrities or movie stars! I sat there trying to think with whom I could have an englightening or inspiring conversation. I turned to my colleague, Kendra and said, "Who should I say?" She replied, "Well, someone scholarly..." I smiled. Kendra knows me well.

When my turn came, I stood up, introduced myself, and named Elie Wiesel as the famous person, whom I would like to meet. As I explained that he is a WWII Holocaust survivor and accomplished author, I successfully silenced the group. So I continued and explained further that I'm not really interested in meeting any celebrities, so I tried to think of someone with whom I could have a really great conversation. One of my colleagues laughed and loudly proclaimed, "I chose Matthew McConaughey not because I want to talk to him, but because I want to see him with his shirt off!" Please! This is just ridiculous to me. Let's be real here.

A friend once told me that if she had to describe me in one word, the word would be real. It's true. I don't like to live in fantasy-land. Disneyland was fun, but only because it was fifteen minutes away from my grandparents' house and there were some fun rides. I never once wanted to be a Disney princess for Halloween. And Halloween, for that matter... I still have to force myself to dress up if I go to a Halloween party. Why do we all want to spend an evening surrounded by ghost, goblins, and witches? :) Saturday morning cartoons weren't really even my thing. I watched a few, but really they just didn't interest me a whole lot. Apparently, I didn't even really like Sesame Street all that much. I mean what kid doesn't like Sesame Street?! My mom has frequently marveled at how she would turn on the television in the morning for me to watch "every kid's favorite TV show" while she tried to get things done around the house. But instead of watching the whole episode, I would generally get up and turn it off after about fifteen minutes. She claims that I rarely watched an entire episode. I vaguely remember this. I do remember thinking that Cookie Monster was kind of stupid. I liked Count Dracula, but that's only because he seemed smart and he could count.

So after I announced to the crowd that I'm different, I sat back down in my seat. Satisfied. I might have had a different type of answer to that question than most everyone in the room, but I'm happy with that. I'd like to meet Elie Wiesel over Matthew McConaughey any day. I mean really. Let's be real here. :) What are you going to do if you meet Matthew McConaughey? Just stare at him? We can do that online or in a movie any time. Nothing can take the place of a good conversation!

Oh, the joy of apostrophes!

Since most of you know me well, I'm sure you know that I strive to speak, as well as write with proper grammar. (Thanks, Mom!) Though English grammar rules can confound even the best of writers, inappropriate apostrophe usage sticks out like a sore thumb to me. This cartoon just made me laugh since it just really hit home with regard to grammar and work. Aaaaah!

Anxiety comes from stress... or is it the other way around?

anx·i·e·ty /æŋˈzaɪɪti/ [ang-zahy-i-tee] n.
1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune: He felt anxiety about the possible loss of his job.
2. Psychiatry. a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder.

stress (strěs) n.
1. A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.


So, ... I have a mental disorder affecting my physical health. Thanks, Corporate America!