You Know You're From the Bay Area If...

"No city invites the heart to come to life as San Francisco does. Arrival in San Francisco is an experience in living."
~William Saroyan

"San Francisco is a mad city - inhabited for the most part by perfectly insane people whose women are of remarkable beauty."
~Rudyard Kipling

Twelve or thirteen years ago, a friend sent me this "Bay Area Native Quiz." At the time, I was experiencing major culture shock, having moved from San Francisco, where I'd lived my whole life up until that point, to Provo, Utah, conservative capital of the world. I got a kick out of the quiz, and was extremely proud to have gotten them all right.

Have a stab at it. When you're answering, take into consideration that this was written 12 or 13 years ago. Have fun. I'll give you the answers in a couple of days. :)

1. Complete the following phrase: Dublin, Berkeley, San Lorenzo, Cupertino, __________

2. Name the five bridges that cross San Francisco Bay. *Extra credit: put them in order from north to south. **Extra, extra credit: explain how to get across the Golden Gate Bridge during rush hour in less than an hour.

3. Complete the following phrase: 2400 Mission, top of the hill, __________

4. You're at a San Francisco Spiders hockey game at the Cow Palace. (True: a team call "the Spiders" played at a place called "the Cow Palace." Go figure.) A woman comes out to sing the Star Spangled Banner wearing a huge hat with a model of the entire financial district, including the TransAmerica Building, on top of it. Your response is:
a) "Hey, look at that idiot wearing the dorky hat!"
b) "Hey, look at that woman wearing the cool hat!"
c) "Hey, Beach Blanket Babylon!"

5. Explain the following joke: "I don't want to call her ugly, but whenever I say 'TV 20', she turns her head."

6. Which of the following is your typical response to an earthquake?
a) "Earthquake! We're all gonna die!"
b) "Earthquake! Great! Now I don't have to go into work today."
c) "Earthquake? We had an earthquake today? I guess I didn't feel it."

7. Match up the following people with the phrases/shows they're associated with:
a) Bob Wilkins
b) Pat McCormick
c) Herb Caen
d) Dr. Donald D. Rose

1)Baghdad-by-the-Bay
2) Creature Feature
3) Sacratomato
4) Dialing for Dollars

8. If someone asked you how to drive from San Francisco to Los Angeles, what would be your response?
a) Get onto 101 south, and take it all the way.
b) Take 80 east to 580 east to 5 south, then take it all the way.
c) Los Angeles? Why do you want to go to Los Angeles?

9. Which of the following is NOT, repeat NOT, a valid name for a Bay Area sports stadium?
a) Oakland Coliseum
b) San Jose arena
c) Candlestick Park
d) 3Com Park

10. The word "Frisco" is:
a) A cute little nickname for the city we also know as "San Francisco."
b) A really annoying shortening of "San Francisco," no doubt started by Southern Californians who can't say words longer than two syllables.
c) The result of a satanic plot.
d) Beats me. Never heard the word before in my life.

11. The little man is on the edge of the chair, clapping wildly; the little man is sitting in the chair and clapping; the little man is sitting in the chair and leaning forward; the little man is asleep in the chair; and the chair is empty. What did I just describe?

12. In referring to a general region of the Bay Area, which of the following terms is never used? What is that area called instead?
a) Marin
b) West Bay
c) East Bay
d) South Bay

13. BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) is not in fact rapid transit for the entire Bay Area. For instance, it doesn't run to Milpitas (but can you blame them?). Which of the following is another city that BART doesn't currently serve? (Keep in mind this was 1996 or so.)
a) Richmond
b) Fremont
c) Daly City
d) San Jose

14. Which of the following would you be likely to see people wearing at Bay to Breakers?
a) running shorts
b) an Elvis costume
c) a fancy ball gown
d) a fancy ball gown worn by a male
e) all of the above

Photo taken by Mom. August 2007.
Land's End (affectionately dubbed in my family, "Favorite Place").