Monday, August 17, 2009

Are you a "Happy When"?

"The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things."
~Henry Ward Beecher


I don't recall when my mom first introduced the term "happy when person" to me, but I'm sure I had to have been a teenager. A "happy when person", she described, is a person who regularly thinks that they'll be "happy when" they have something different than what they have at the current moment.

For example, a 15 year old kid thinks he'll be "happy when" he finally has his driver's license and doesn't have to be chauffeured around by his parents or take the bus. Then this same high school student, now a license-toting senior is tired of living under his parents' roof and thinks he'll be "happy when" he's in college and able to make his own decisions without his parents watching over his shoulder.

...or...

A young single woman whose dating life doesn't seem to be leading anywhere, thinks she'll be "happy when" she gets married and doesn't have to worry about the stressful life of dating. Then this same young woman, now married, is just not content; she really wants to have a baby and it just hasn't happened yet. She'll be "happy when" she discovers she's pregnant.

Lately, I've been "chewing" on this concept. Are we truly happy with who we are and what we have? Do we take life for granted? Do we always wish he had something more?
Now there is definitely room to discuss the desire to always wanting to improve our lives and make changes to make life better. But what is the motivation? Are we truly just trying to better ourselves, a reason why I believe we're here on Earth? Or are we just never satisfied with what we have and cannot find the happiness and joy in the lives we are living.

Last week, as I was mulling over these thoughts, I had my iTunes on shuffle and up popped Sara Evans. She's a country singer, and though I don't like much country, she played in the soundtrack of my life about eight or nine years back. Here are the lyrics to the song that came on:

"I Keep Looking"

Back when I was young
Couldn't wait to grow up
Get away and get out on my own
And looking back now
Ain't it funny how
I've been trying to get back home, yeah

When my low self esteem
Needs a man loving me
And I find me a perfect catch
Then I see my friends
Having wild weekends
Then I don't wanna get quite so attached

Just as soon as I get what I want
I get unsatisfied
Good is good but could be better

I keep looking, I keep looking for
I keep looking for something more
I always wonder what's on the other side
Of the number two door
I keep looking
Looking for something more

Well, the straight haired girls
They all want curls
And the brunettes wanna be blonde
It's your typical thing
You got ying, you want yang
It just goes on and on

They say, hey, it's only human
To never be satisfied
Well I guess that I'm as human as the next one

Oh, I keep looking
I keep looking for
I keep looking for something more
I always wonder what's on the other side
Of the number two door
Yeah, I keep looking
Looking for something more

Just as soon as I get what I want
I get unsatisfied
Hey, good is good but could be better

I keep looking
I keep looking for
I keep looking for something more
I always wonder what's on the other side
Of the number two door
I keep looking
Looking for something more
Oh, looking for something more

So this song just really rubbed me the wrong way. I was so upset that she was singing these lyrics. Now don't get me wrong... again, I know there is good in reaching for something good or something better, but not at the cost of your happiness today. How can you possibly be happy if as soon as you get what you want you get unsatisfied and decide, "Well now, I'll be happy when..."

Live in the moment. Be happy today. Reach for the stars, but be happy where you are today. Let's not be "happy when" people. Celebrate today's accomplishments and successes. Plan for tomorrow, but remember that the future starts with the present.
Photo a la moi, from our backyard.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen, sister!
TTT

Becky said...

Your mama is so wise. She would always "scold" me when I would talk about being "happy when" we left Provo... Great post. I think it is just what I needed to hear.

eclaires said...

That she is! I'm glad you like the post. It's just what I've been thinking about lately, and am glad that it was "just what you needed to hear."

Sonda said...

Well said. I think it takes some maturity to realize that things, events or people don't make us happy. It comes from inside yourself. Everything else is just there for enjoyment, not true happiness. Way to make us all think. Thanks Emery.

Taryn said...

Awesome just awesome I've been thinking/realizing all that lately too. According to studies only 10% of our happiness is affected by our environment and circumstances:) Which means we all have the power to be 90% happy ALL on our own!:)